Zimbabwean women who dated and married single fathers have opened up about the highs and lows of their experiences.
Some women narrated their tales of woe and vowed never to date single fathers again. For others, however, the experiences were very good, and they met the loves of their lives. For others, however, the experiences were a mixed bag.
The women shared their experiences on social media following a question from Zimbabwe social media personality and cyber-aunt Tete Fadzie.
Tete Fadzie wrote,
I’m kindly asking those who have been married to/ dated single fathers to share their experiences. You can care anonymously via the link below.
Below are some of the responses by Zimbabwean women on their experiences of dating single fathers:
I am a single Mom, dated a single dad of 2. The kids stayed with their Mom, he was always talkin: about how amazing his kids are and how he takes care of them. I believed it since he was good with mine. Almost 3 months in, i realised he was lying about taking care of his kids, he wasn’t, his baby mama had gone for maintenance which he was defaulting. but in all this he would provide for me and mine even at times pandaiti you are now overdoing it. So I had to end it for that fact yekuti how do you not take care of your own blood but willingly and overly take care of another man’s agara ari provided for. PS My baby dad passed away.
Ini hangu as a single mun dating a single dad, my experience is nothing short of amazing. We get on so well and zviri kunaka hazvo. We go on trips as one big blended family and i get along nevana vake who are teenage girls and it’s fun. The best thing about it is that vana vacho vese get along too. In a nutshell, I think single parents should just date each other. It makes
situations much easier.
I’m a 26 year old woman got married to a man with 3 children from 3 different mothers. He pays maintenance for all of them I only got to know about the other three ndatoroorwa has mal I’m always trying to encourage him to bond with the children haadi he doesn’t care he just sends money I actually feel sorry for the children.
Hie TF 1 once dated a single father of 3 he is by far the most loving man 1 have ever dated the way he cared for his sons made me respect and love him. I loved his children as if they were my own but unfortunately things were not met to be he moved out of the country and the long distance just made things difficult… Truth be told even though I moved on 1 still love him and his kids alt
Hi fadzi. I dated a single father of 2 at some point. He was a good guy and through him I got to know what it means to be loved. However the X got in touch complained the guy was not looking after his children. I was shocked because he would do everything for me. He would drop whatever he would be doing jus to show up for me. She told me that he was not paying school fees and he is very stingy but to me that was not the case. So I started seriously looking into the issue as the relationship got serious. Apparently according to him, his X was the one who had walked out and he never went after her thats how the marriage ended. So I noticed he was someone who would not fight for anything and I figured I might ju, end up like the X wife ndasiiwa. At some point bumped into the X with the children paRocomamas in borrowdale and she wanted to cause drama. As good as he was to me I left the relationship because I wanted someone who would fight for our relationship unlike what he has done with his X , also the drama from X vacho was unnecessary in my life. Well I left and , a year later single father of 2 is still asking me back. I love him but those 2 issues I listed above I cannot compromise.
I’m married to a man with a child from another woman I knew about it before I got married to him I don’t have children of my own we’ve been married for 5 years now our child is 11 honestly speaking I love his child like my own at times when she comes over haatodi kudzokera kumba kwavo and if you see us together you’ll think she’s my biological child. Her mom is very mature and I think that has helped a lot we actually talk quite often
My husband and i have been happily married for almost 5 years now we have one kid, he was a divorcee with 4 kids when we met. He is very loving and caring man. He takes good care of all his children. His relationship with the baby mama was very hostile but we kept taking care of the children. Until now!, their relationship has improved but I’m starting to get worried, she makes it a point that she calls everyday even early morning without the kids for a social chat and hubby would also answer the phone votaura havo. But the social calls are becoming too much for me I didn’t have a problem with her calls with the kids but now she calls without the kids for a social conversation and hubby would also call her behind my back. I’m afraid kuti I’m being taken for a fool i suspect that they are now working on getting back together. Should i confront my husband or leave?
I am very scared to date a man with a young daughter, son not so much. Daughters of divorce tend to “claim” their dad as property and have a tendency to push away any and all women who come in. I just broke up with the love of my life, and the main reason was the daughter. Its too confusing for her to see me kissing him or touching him, she is very threatened and won’t let us be alone ever. She makes up stories so he gets mad at me. And gives me looks of success when she gets her way -which is ALWAYS. It is impossible to be with them. He will never see my side and never back me up. I hope you can back up your gf when the child gets manipulative and needy. Good Luck!
hi tete Fadzi my exhusband had a child before we met, we got married, the mother of that child wanted to cause a lot of trouble for me , accused me of ill treating the child wen he comes for weekends but my ex husband would always stand up for me, actually i never sat in those meetings they called to discuss how iam abusive until later the woman realized on her own she was wrong abt me, we later became friends, my relationship with the stepson was a very ok relationship up to now wen we meet he still treats me with respect …
I dated one, a habitual liar, cheater, conman, satan’ s father. Please dear ladies if you don’t have a child never settle with these single fathers. They are bad more than what Shadaya thinks of single mothers. Upto now each time I think of all he did I just say ‘May his soul rest in peace ‘ although he is alive.. . Nb ..Its more than 7 years since I left him
Baby Mama called me hameno vavawana kupi number and we had a long chat about the relationship etc. she told me they broke up and its all about the kids, she had moved on chakuti chakuti. She tried to be my friend but I couldn’t cross that line. I really knew things had ended between them, but problem is man had not accepted it. Bambo was in denial sandi. He used to compare everything to her, he was kinda bitter. No matter how much I tried it was never enough. Months later she got married to someone else hey, ndakaona kutonhodzwa kwevanwe baba. To top it off ndakabva ndavaramba.
As a child-free woman, one very big issue with dating a single father is that it will not lead to the lifestyle that I require in a relationship or marriage—that is to say, that we can become a family of two. Becoming part of someone else’s nuclear family is difficult enough, and if you never wanted to be a part of the parenthood experience, that is some really grueling stuff. I learned the hard way that dating a single dad simply cannot be done, and that coming in second place really, really hurts. It’s just the worst feeling in the world. You know, there you are, home alone recovering from major surgery and you really need your guy, but oh, the kids want to go to a movie. It’s like you’ve been compartmentalized, and when the single father needs adult conversation and intimacy, you’re taken out of the toy box. Otherwise, you’re just a distant thought. My mom warned me it would be like that, and she was right. I would rather go through life alone than always have my needs come second.
If you have never been in a relationship with a single father, know that it’s way different than a normal relationship. You cannot be the main focus in the relationship, because he will have to have his time with his kid. If you aren’t ready for the adventures of parenting, then you might want to rethink the idea of dating a single father.
Following the thread on Zimbabwean women dating single fathers, Tete Fadzie promised to do another thread to chronicle the experiences of men dating single mothers.